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I don't think anyone other than a Mumbaikar can understand my sentiments in this post, or those who have visited Mumbai and stayed here for sometime. Autorickshaws have been an integral part of suburban Mumbai. After trains and buses, the most number of vehicles on the road are rickshaws and man do they know how to drive. They can squeeze in through the most unimaginable of spaces and come unscathed. I myself cringe in the auto thinking that I might hit the neighbouring vehicle if I sit with legs a bit wide. The drivers are the real stars, they can manoeuvre an auto with such expertise that you might find yourself astounded at their skill sometimes. I remember once thanking god after getting out of an auto where the driver almost overtook a mercedes and a jaguar and made them look bad. But then there is always a bad side to everything. No matter how matter we praise the drivers we end up abusing more. Why?

Well you see in reality these drivers are required to take you where you ask them and cannot refuse a fare but NO!!! they are their own masters (obviously they are not slaves) almost 50% of the time you wont find an auto who would take you to your destination and simply because either its too close or its an empty lane and there is no chance of getting traffic (which obviously increases the fare) or you are a single guy.

If you are a girl or you either have a girl along with you, congrats you just got into an auto, you don't even have to ask, "Jaayega??"

This is precisely because they have to put their rear view mirror to some use and its biggest use is to  view some "action/scene in the backseat" as they put it. There have been instances where I had to ask my girl buddies to stop an auto for us guys to get it and boy do we get to see the disappointment on the driver's face when he realizes he just got punk'd.

One more thing I realized is every commuter always feels that the meter in his auto is going a bit fast than it should have and for that reason he'll need to pay a higher fare. Guys, I tell you there is no point arguing......unless a girl does the arguing for you and voila you just saved atleast 5 bucks and however small it may be, its a VICTORY !!!! (we do take pleasure in small things......and WE LOVE IT)

One of my friend is particularly in "love" with the rickshaw drivers. As a person showers his/her love on his/her lover, he too showers something on the drivers, only difference, its abuses ( you know the usual, mc, bc , chu, mkc{which he is particularly good at giving, it hurts u know} love-day, kaan me daal, kaan maraa etc etc) I swear I have learnt a few new and good ones from him. He is like a God in that dept.

Be it college to the railway station or vice versa we would always find him hurling his "love" at the drivers they would refuse his fare and he would be stranded alone. Its a love story gone awfully wrong. More on that some other time.

In the end I would say that even though its a love/hate game between the commuters and the drivers, we absolutely require them in our daily life (because we understand their importance only when they go on a strike and we have wait for the stupid bus, which is never on time)



 
Its the internet age and everyone wants to be a part of it. Its all twitter, facebook and blogging. As you say "When in Rome, do as Romans do" I too wanted to be a part of this crazy world and started to think about options as to what I can do to put my footprint on this digital world. The options were
1. Create a video and put it on youtube
 I imagined that video would go viral and I would get some stardom, but to my surprise people liked a fat-ass Korean man who raps something that no one understood (even I liked him) but its just not fair. Well I put an end to that option.

2. Tweet
Fuck that nobody cares about my tweets unless I am a girl and I post naked pictures of myself.

3. Write a Blog
My dream was to write stuff that compares with Shakespeare and some other guys but after reading what I wrote, I think my neighbour's dog comes up with better stuff and that too out of his wrong end.

So the search is still on(and no, doing pornography is not included in that list)
 
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Since the last few days I am being constantly irritated by this pigeon couple who want make a nest in my balcony. I have tried to throw a lot of stuff at them but they are just too adamant. My mom told me its probably because its time for the pigeon to lay an egg and so its looking for a suitable place. I think by my antics towards it should've found another place, but no, it is too damn stubborn. I heard that when I wasn't at home, it laid an egg on a shelf I kept in my balcony, no nest nothing, there it was, an egg on top of a plain surface. I guess it was like the pigeon couldn't hold it in any longer, it had to go......oh oh...plink !!! DONE.

My friend once told me about a similar experience but with way different results. A pigeon laid an egg near his house and it used to sit on it the whole day because well my friend is a believer in ahimsa (read Gandhi). But then he did something hilarious, once while the pigeon was away he replaced its egg with a chicken egg and the pigeon came and sat on it as usual. Yeah, it didn't give a fuck. He went a step further, the next time he put a white ping pong ball.

Oh Yeah its still didn't give a fuck.....hilarious.

 
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Indians are very particular about this topic, oh yes!! to a great extent. We are not ashamed to talk about it, not even in public. In fact I've heard instances where people actually brag about their morning dump. Particularly the design and the size make up for most of the conversation. Also life provides us with enough instances and opportunities of shitting in very unusual places and thus providing me with more "shitty" writing material. A train, for example is a very good place for an interesting shit story. I'll tell you about something I myself experienced.

You must've surely felt "the morning pressure" several times in your life and believe me an Indian railway train with an Indian Style loo is not the place to be, at that time. Its an excruciating task to get a firm position with train violently shaking most of the time. You are lucky if you can find a handle to hold to or else you'll be pretty much stretching out your hands against the walls for support and at the same time trying not to shake so much that the shit might actually land on your feet. When you are finally done and you get up to rejoice your accomplishment you'll probably find that no one else from hereon would be able to accomplish anything in there. But if you come out unscathed you will feel like a warrior coming home from war. I am not at liberty to discuss what was my end result due to graphic nature of the situation.



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